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The backstory behind this Psalm is really powerful. We all know the story of David and Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. These events are captured in Scripture and not only does it show David’s disorientation due to his indulgence of his desire for Bathsheba, but the story tracks his darkened mind as he tries to cover up this sin by having Uriah killed. The additional thread in this story is how God summons the prophet Nathan to inform David that the gig is up. God’s displeasure with David is revealed and now David will face the consequences of his behavior. The lesson is that God will restore us spiritually, but the effects of our sin may not all be wiped away. This Psalm comes from David’s time of repentance and is a precious reminder to us as we willfully give ourselves over to sins, that despite our failure, God would have enough self awareness to come to God and just own it. Too often we don’t.

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
    and cleanse me from my sin!

David’s heart knows how it feels to be distant from God. As Meister Eckart said in the thirteenth century: “It can be very destructive if we regard God as being distant from us since, whether we are far from or near to Him, He is never far from us and is always close at hand. If He cannot remain within, then He goes no farther than the door.” In David’s sinful state of mind, he thought, like all of us do, that he could get away with it, that God would not see. In the delusion of sin, he tried to believe God was distant from him. Now in the sobriety of Nathan’s words, David acknowledges that there is nowhere to go and he appeals to the steadfast love and mercy of God to restore his darkened heart. This is a prayer we can all pray if we give up our illusions that God is distant.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is ever before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
    and blameless in your judgment.
⁵ Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
    and in sin did my mother conceive me.
⁶ Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
    and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

David is not giving an excuse for his wrongdoing here. Instead, he is reflecting upon the depths of his own heart throughout the course of his life. Like him, if we can sit in the stare of God’s gaze, we can search the archives of our lives and still not find a time when the seeds of every sin did not exist within us. Despite the innocence of our childhood, upon reflection, we can perceive the selfish root of all sins even in our earliest memories. By reflecting upon the whole of our lives, rather than just the most recent events, we can follow David’s example, and surrender the whole thing, our who being, essence and life to God who sees it all, and desires our transformation from the inside out.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
    wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins,
    and blot out all my iniquities.
¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right spirit within me.
¹¹ Cast me not away from your presence,
    and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Only God can forgive sins. Only God can restore us completely, because only God can access that part of our soul, our true inner self, that is found in God. That is the place we must go, that is the measuring line of Divine union that only God can resolve. David knows that he cannot undo what he has done but that continuing on with the charade is worse. So he seeks God, as we must do as well, to have the deepest, darkest, parts of us exposed, and cleaned. To be forgiven at this level is something we can only do individually before God, as David does here. Only that part of us can receive the forgiveness we truly need. This is also the very place where or pride would like to double down on our sin, make excuses and keep the charade up a little longer by pretending God doesn’t see. We must confess our sins to God or these words will never resonate with us.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    and sinners will return to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
    O God of my salvation,
    and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

David knows perfunctory religion or ritual is of no value. Reciting a prayer, singing a song, doing a penance, giving alms, or chastising oneself cannot reach the core of the problem. Our religious performance may impress others or even ourselves, but it means nothing to God if we do not have the right heart (inner self) within us. The prideful stance must be broken, or we progress no further. Once we truly surrender the game, and acknowledge our brokenness and helplessness to measure up, then and only then does God grace us with the forgiveness and restore us back to divine union.

Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
    build up the walls of Jerusalem;
¹⁹ then will you delight in right sacrifices,
    in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Once the heart is in the right place, then religion has a purpose. The ritual of sacrifice and offering are no longer appeasements, but offerings of gratitude and thanksgiving. Religion is the consecration of the union that has taken place, it doesn’t cause the union. Just as a marriage ceremony is the consecration of the love and commitment of two people, but doesn’t cause the love.

Now restored in the heart, David returns to his life just as we must do. It does us no good to dwell over and over again on the sins of the past. Yes, the consequences of them do follow us, and yes the pain we cause others may never lift from their lives as we saw was the case in Davids own life, however, staying stuck there does no one any good. For David, the consequence was the death of the child he conceived with Bathsheba…not a small price to pay. We must trust that God’s love has restored us, and walk in gratitude for this grace, and do all we can to not fall into this the delusion that God is far. Ritual reminds us of our proximity, and proximity to God changes how we live.

We all owe David a bit of thanks for penning down one of his biggest failures along side of some of the biggest theological truths which help grow our humanity. The sins we commit can be horrible and their effects can be devastating to others, but the greatest sin, which allows all others, is the bit of pride which deludes us into thinking God doesn’t see us. God does see us and as we mature spiritually, we discover as David did, that God doesn’t punish us for our sins…but we are punished by them. We must strive against them, no matter how long or how hard the struggle. God is more optimally glorified by our struggle with sin, than He is by it’s removal, otherwise, sin would not exist.