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Last week’s post/podcast revisited the framework from my book: “Getting Better When You Can’t“. Due to the volume of feedback, and to support your engagement for lasting transformation, we’ll go deeper into this framework pictured below. Today, we’ll discover our truth assumptions.

Our problems, sins, addictions, compulsions or habits have already proven that lasting change isn’t easy. Perhaps you’re here because change “feels” impossible. Prior to beginning, I’d like to offer three considerations:

1. Transformation is often gradual, like child to adult.
2. You are NOT alone. We all have a secret sin or problem that remains an ongoing struggle. The Puritans called these “Besetting sins.”
3. From a spiritual perspective, these besetting sins serve a larger purpose of growth,, and keeping us humble. The Apostle Paul couldn’t experience freedom from his “thorn in his side.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). In Romans 7, he reveals that sometimes God is more glorified by our struggle with sin, than He is the removal of it.

“For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:18-19)

Take comfort and give yourself some grace. Do not beat yourself up, you’re not a failure, loser, nor need fear some fiery retribution of God. He does’t work that way. These struggles ARE the design ,NOT your identity. The deeper the secret, the bigger the design for transformation. They aren’t derailments to life, but necessary trainers, similar to Isaac the Syrian’s “scourge of love”. Thomas Brooks said: “God will gladly pardon us for sins which He choses not to remove.”

Don’t focus on its removal, become present to what it reveals.

Practice sitting still. God accompanies our silence (which isn’t silent).

“Who says you have a problem?”

Quietly reflect on this question. Who’s pressuring you lose weight, get in shape, stop drinking, get free of debt, porn, anger, or laziness? Are you “your” authority? Is change “forced” upon you? We need to access the deeper truth assumption.

“What do you absolutely know to be true about that which you seek to change?”

Now. Here is where you learn to ask: “Is this all that is true? What do I still not understand? Where have I failed to live in fidelity to (rejected) this truth?” …(humble posture before God) The answer doesn’t come from you, but from your Maker and reveals our moral culpability. Don’t run, squirm, or be dismissive.

If you insist, in this moment, that You are somehow talking to yourself, then your problem is solved. You have no problem, just tell yourself to ignore any need to change. If you don’t like the outcome, then you must admit your moral complicity, and that requires the truth assumption that a moral standard (God’s) necessarily exists, and you aren’t living by it.

The silence is not empty. It’s not a nothing that is there. Do not fear this. This is not a religion, it is how you reconnect to your Maker in the present moment(Presence)…humble surrender to each moment.

Psychology keeps redefining mental illness as normal. For example, gender dysmorphia is 1/10 as common as schizophrenia, yet no efforts exist to normalize schizophrenia. Psychology’s truth claim of “Tabula Rosa” insists problems all trace back to an historical/familial event. So, does such discovery actually alter future behavior? Nope, but psychology’s truth assumption ensnares us into years of therapy.

Science and medicine has no rational claim (belief) in the depth dimension (God) or morality. The scientific truth assumption insists that non-empirically based reality cannot exist. Science’s truth assumption reduces all problems to biochemistry not morality. Is it true that life changes are mere chemical changes? If so, what caused our biochemical deficiency?

Religions have justifiable moral claims along with their carrot and stick for moral/behavioral compliance. We cannot “church” our problems away. Religious communities are full of untransformed people who are pretending to be transformed. Just because “God says” it’s a problem, doesn’t mean we comply. In fact, I would argue that true healing doesn’t begin until we are fully convinced that God has spoken, and we have deliberately disobeyed. Until you read yourself into the “Garden”, you won’t see the “curse” and you won’t recognize the design of your redemption…which no religion can provide.

In your practice of contemplation, own your struggle, but don’t focus on it. Don’t focus on anything. There is no pretending, or hiding anything. Just be beloved (perfect-authentic) imperfection. Now you can see:

1. Weight problems are truth assumptions which claim I’m not responsible for healthy choices.
2. Debt problems are truth assumptions which claim I’m not responsible for a budget.
3. Emotional problems are truth assuptions which claim I’m not responsible for feelings.
4. Porn problems are truth assumptions which claim I’m not responsible for sexual responses.
5. Anger problems are truth assumptions which claim I’m not responsible for getting set off.
6. Drinking problems are truth assumptions which claim I’m not responsible right now.

Next, explore how our SELF PITY precedes acting responsible. “I deserve this…this situation is different…”

Self-pity pauses transformation. Responsibility re-starts it.

All of this exits in our five minutes of silent contemplation. Take all thoughts captive. Keep returning to a humble, receptive, presence. Once you learn to join this ongoing “sacred space” you can return as often as you desire, and your desire for returning will grow, even if you resist it at first. Jesus said:

 “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him,…For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” (Mark 7:18, 21-23)

Keep practicing this practice of five minutes of silent wordless prayer. Then expand to ten if you desire. Once you acknowledge the Presence of God, begin to use your words and speak to your Maker about your self-discovery. Hide nothing, own everything, speak freely, “there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ” and as you watch yourself begin to agree with God, you’ll experience transformation throughout your whole being, and while it may not yet be complete, you will know for certain, you’ve begun.

Keep returning to this Source…in silence… and you won’t recognize your life within a year.