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Today is going to be different. Today I will offer a personally guided tour through my contemplative practice. I’ll serve as your concierge of a spiritual journey. The term “contemplation” means something different to each of us, whereby some feel uncomfortable with the idea of meditation and others get squirmy with prayer. Contemplation employs a diverse menu of practices, so today is an invitation into what I do, salted with a few suggestions along the way.

All I ask is that you are present and open and give yourself the time needed to be with this exercise. It may be that you’ll need to come back to this.

I get up most mornings between 4:30-5:30. I make a cup of coffee and head out to my back porch. If it’s cold, I wrap up in a blanket, but I’m always outside in the cool of the morning before the blue light of dawn emerges. I sit comfortably upright, with my feet on the ground (sometimes crossed at the ankles), my hands folded, and my head slightly bowed.

I close my eyes. At the Living School, we always began our contemplations with the Psalm 46:10 which says: “Be still and know that I am God…” The verse continues by saying: “I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” This seems to be a fitting posture for a spiritual practice. (I’ve participated in other practices which turn meditation into a breathing exercise or where they have taken God out of it and made it about oneself. This feels like an adulteration of something sacred. As you’ll see, I don’t believe we are the subject nor the object of this practice.)

Let us begin by praying Jesus’ prayer. Let us bow our hearts and pray: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” Let us become aware of our breath.

Inhale…rest…exhale….sit still…inhale…rest…exhale…

Breathing is now more than an autonomic response. Pneuma is the word for breath, wind or Spirit. As breathing becomes a conscious endeavor, air transforms into Spirit. As you breathe, reflect on Jesus’ words:

“It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all.” (John 6:63), and Paul said:

“…to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

As you inhale, invite the Holy Spirit to attend this moment. Breathe in life and peace. Breathe out any preoccupation of your mind. Breathe in the Holy Spirit. Father, we ask to be drawn into this Eternal Moment of God. Breathe out anything that hinders this divine flow. Repeat this exercise of consciously breathing in Spirit, life, and peace, and breathing out worry…fear…unworthiness…anger…hatred… Let us continue this cleansing breath as we surrender to this moment. Let us fully “exhale” or shed off anything whatsoever that would prevent us from this experience of what the author of “The Cloud of Unknowing” would call “Naked Being.” We are simply existing transparently before God…hiding nothing…pretending nothing…open to receive…life…breath…and everything.

We continue this breathing as our consciousness deepens to our existence. We are sustained in our existence and gaining awareness that God’s presence is closer to us than we are to ourselves. In Spirit, we breathe in God’s existence, realizing it is our existence…it is our true identity…our true self. Only our Maker can name us…and He has called us “Beloved.”

Breathe in your belovedness. Breathe in being loved. Breathe out love. Complete the circuit. Love in…love out. Breathe in “I love you…” Breathe out “I love you…” (In the anonymous work “The Way of the Pilgrim”, this is where one would pray the Jesus prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”)

The darkness of having your eyes closed may turn to utter blackness as darker and darker darkness moves over you. In our blackened field of vision there are spots yet blacker still. Reflect on Solomon’s dedication of the temple where he says: “The Lord is pleased to dwell in thick darkness.” (1 Kings 8:12). Paul reminds us that we are that temple now. God is pleased to dwell in this thick darkness. We have become the inner chamber…Holy of Holies. You may experience something like that of falling…as though your body is disoriented…or the floor is moving. Receive it. Stay present. Your mind/body/spirit is re-orienting to spiritual reality. (Note: It’s really vital to not try and re-ground yourself. Don’t seek to regain control in the body, just notice it. I encourage a “trust fall” or what Kierkegaard calls a “leap of faith” into the dark, bottomless abyss.) I know that imagery sounds scary, or even evil, it’s not. It’s the gateway to an experience of divine union.

As we surrender to the darkness and to the falling, you will land, and the disorientation will stop. The darkness may bring forth colors. (For me it’s always blue. Small fading blips of brilliant blue move rhythmically “fading-in, fading-out” as the color begins to enlarge until the blue is the entire color I see, as if I’m laying on my back looking up to a Colorado Blue bird sky.-If you do not see color, do not worry about it, you are not missing anything. Your darkness is complete and lacks nothing.)Breathe in grace, and breathe out praise until the falling has stopped and you find you are resting in secure place.

“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:1-3). Sit with this. “He restores my soul…”

Breathing in the Spirit now correctly aligns our inner self to our body. (Note: this is where the practice of healing will take place. We who are hidden in Christ, and found in God can speak healing to our bodies.)In the stillness of this “green pasture” our consciousness becomes aware that Christ is praying with us, for us, inviting us into the prayer and divine union he prayed with his disciples. Breathe. Sty present. Darkness, colors, or blue above us, the falling has stopped, we are resting on, embedded firmly, safely in Christ at our back. We cannot see Him as He is, or as we might imagine, we only know Him as our keeper, our sustainer, we are “un-knowing” him, and knowing our true self. It is Christ in us. Let us reflect on Jesus’ prayer:

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, ²¹ that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (John 17:20-21)

This stillness is the Eternal moment where this shared divine union is possible. Here…now…It is possible to perceive every soul who has ever lived is with us…in Him…surrounding Him…through Him, in the same way that we are in this moment which never had a beginning and never ends. Stillness is a beautiful place. This is teliós -complete, perfect, authentic….heaven. This is where we can speak to loved ones who are now in Christ. They are here in Christ, that part of them that cannot be lost, unique in their telios, aware, healthy, complete, listening, cheering, celebrating, praising, enjoying, waiting…all of this capture in a blink. (You may be tempted to stay long here, but none of them will allow it. They will laugh at how silly the idea is and ask you to regain your presence again. Do not wander off.) We have questions. In this moment… these will evaporate.

The scepter of the King is tilting toward us. It’s time for our petitions. As the Spirit brings forth the realities of our life and our relationships, we may now ask for God’s intervention. Our list may be long or short, but take this moment before God to ask whatever you will. I will be silent for a few moments so that you can do so now.

The next part is the hardest for me. I’m lovingly silenced. Our consciousness has shifted from breath, to darkness, to falling, to Christ, to stillness, and now consciousness itself is silenced. Everything has been heard…nothing is missing from this moment…we cannot add or take anything… we must be still…just be.

This is the time of silence. I cherish this now, but at first my experience with this kind of stillness was very different.

At first this sacred moment didn’t seem so Holy. You see, there is this accuser in this space. “You don’t belong here…” My mind activated, I got squirmy, restless… My daily agenda became important. There were deep, lost feelings, pressing through, bubbling to the surface. I was uncomfortable, it was a form of torment, a fear of being found out, a scourge that love and silence evoked. Stay with it. We are being purified. Receive and feel the all consuming fire’s heat. (In early days, this is where I would get up and leave. I’d squirm. I’d get an itch, a pain, or a reason and I’d hit the eject button. My recommendation is to stay in the Spirit. Let the fire do its work. Like St. John of the Cross said about the piece of wood, it is being turned into the fire. Like the wood, all that needs to be burned will be consumed as we too are turned into this fire.) Like the wood given to the fire, so when we give ourselves to the fire of God in contemplation, there will not be much of us left, but we will be transformed by the fire into the fire.

There are a million things we think we want in life…but this is what we truly want.

Sit with scourge of silence… the accuser cannot outlast you. Breath in the mercy and grace of God. Breathe out your praise to God. Repeat. Be here now. Resist being as Henry Scudder said: “A jester blowing a feather in the court of the King.” “Be still and know that I am God.” Sit still. Surrender the outcome completely. If it feels like your ruin, it’s because it is. Discover who you truly are on the other side of this uncomfortable process. This is where confession comes. Own it all. Own every evil act. Admit to every idol thought. Confess your love of sin. Drop the fig leave. Hiding anything is futile. Get really honest. Inhale healing and restoration. Empty it all with every exhaling breath. Lay down every burden. Breath it all out as you breath in new life and grace and love.

Return to silence. There is literally nothing to confess. This is the safest place at the safest moment in all of existence. You are loved, forgiven, and found in God.

A few breaths of Naked Being.

In the manner this opened, so now it fades. The Eternal Moment is not endless purging, it’s but a bath which allows us to put on our wedding garment and be seated. This is where deep stillness manifests. Revelations 8:1 says “When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.” We are one of the multitude now in this Moment, which is now, because we are all in God, in Christ, and there is no more time. Stay still. Stay quiet. Stay in no-thing. God is not an object. God is a subject. This silence is not a vacuum, it is not void. It is full. It is pregnant with spiritual seeing. It’s now my favorite part for that reason.

Stay here as long as you have the stamina or until you are forced to transition back into breath, back into your chair, body, and physical life.

If you’ve been participating, open your eyes. What do you perceive? To me, everything is appears fictional. In the same way Epcot center is like visiting global cities, so now the world is more translucent…I can see life in and through all things. Beauty and flow are much more visible. I feel so much more than ok…I’m Now…I’m centered…I’m forgiven…I’m beloved…I can see…I’m living a corporeal life that I myself will ultimately transcend by millions of years. What a perspective. What a gift. I can see the silly entrapments in myself and others as we drive our cars down our street. We must ask for grace to uphold this perspective as long as we can. As we go out into the world we can now live from this place, heaven has come to earth…through Christ…in me…in you. I feel like I can be a part of the healing of others and this world. I feel like my prayers are heard, considered, and in process. I’m so confident of that.

From this place, I open the scripture. I read the words of contemplatives, puritans, poets, mystics, and theologians, who are all seeking that which is beyond everything…the Logos, the Sophia, that which weaves its way in and through each of them, through thousands of years and finds a message of redemption and love that I’m privileged to witness and motivated to share. From this Lexio Divina, I sit on Monday mornings to write my blog. And my blog becomes a my podcast. And on Sunday people all over the world find this content and find a new perspective which grows their faith and leads them to their own healing and redemption story. Now after twelve years, we are a big, virtual family of people just like me and you who are healed, redeemed, restored, and empowered. Praise God for the gift of contemplative practice.

Please write me if you have questions or if you want to set up a call. I’d love to hear from you.