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We all know young adults. Please forward this to someone whom may find it helpful.

On by back porch are four Adirondack chairs which face one another. My children are adults, ages 20 and 21. The back porch is where we sit here in silence and contemplation. We have deep discussions. We laugh and stare at each other. We’ve have straight and unflinching dialogue. It’s our safe place to be real.

This series was conceived here.

People tell me that my kids are “not normal.“ Both are healthy, wise, well-adjusted, high-consciousness, high-achievers, a bring their best to everything. I would expect this for a family that practices wisdom and love. Unfortunately, most families are what I consider to be broken, or what the world considers normal.

As a young adult, you were likely raised by a Gen X parent, which has an influence on things, but maybe not as much as psychology wants us to believe. Psychology would have us spend several years on a couch retelling traumatic events, and digging up painful things so that we can find a cause or blame for our adult onset apathy, anxiety, depression, or anger. I’m offering an alternative approach to blaming the past for our present unhappiness. I offer healing here and now, in this moment, in God. Prepare for direct talk.

Our world is full of high-tech products that run on software. In a way, we are similar. What the Bible calls the “Kosmos” (world system) is continually updating its software in order to sell us new hardware. It sounds progressive, but it’s the opposite. My observation is that the world’s “software” is incompatible with our true hardware, and young adults are struggling today because the software doesn’t work as promised.

Take dating for example. The world’s software says men and women are identical, rather than like-opposites who are uniquely made to go together to create a union greater than each of them. The world software says have sex first, then if the sex is good, maybe you can start dating. If the dating is good, maybe you can move in together. If that works out, maybe you’ll fall in love and can consider marriage…that is after you are each strong, independent and self-reliant individuals. The world has a dismally low view of friendship, dating, love, marriage and sex, which are given this order by superior software.

Healing doesn’t come by the latest software update. Healing is undergoing a factory reset back to the software we’ve been given to operate our lives.

The hardware is our humanity…the way we are made, the way we work best, both as individuals and as a society. The software is wisdom. This series is how you can possess true wisdom. The Greek word is Sophia, and Hokmah in Hebrew. AI defines wisdom as “the ability to discern, understand, and apply knowledge correctly to make good decisions and live a wise life, encompassing practical skills, discernment, and the ability to live in accordance with God’s will.” I define wisdom as our skill or ability not to just make a “good decision” but to “discern the right decision and choose it.”

Wisdom is both skill and will.

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom,
    and whatever you get, get insight.
Prize her highly, and she will exalt you… (Proverbs 4:7-8)

“For they (words of wisdom) are life to those who find them,
    and healing to all their flesh.” (Proverbs 4:22)

Wisdom is not the accumulation of knowledge. It isn’t data. Wisdom is skill. This means wisdom is trained into us, it is learned behavior. Discerning what is right and doing it are two aspects of wisdom and if either is lacking, wisdom is not lost. What good is knowing the importance of picking good friends, if we disregard what we know, and pick bad friends? That’s called being a fool. The person who picks bad friends because he or she didn’t know any better, is another type of fool, called the simple.

If wisdom is a skill in which we can be trained, then “Where do we get it?” and “Who trains us?” The world lacks wisdom, so do not seek it there.

In thousands of hours of coaching men and women who are suffering from poor life decisions, the common thread is that they trusted people and institutions which had answers but lacked wisdom. We can see this everywhere. We take advice from friends who are just as foolish as we are. We trust the news or influencers because they tell us what we want to hear.

Wisdom is skill. Nobody gains skill by scrolling. We can gain information or misinformation but skill is gained in application. It is in the testing of information that we determine if it was wise. Wisdom is gained in our trials. This is our first clue that wisdom is counter-intuitive, meaning it’s nothing like we imagined.

Lesson #1 s that the world systems train us in folly… not wisdom. The world system, AKA “institutional power” is the forked tongue of deception. These offer knowledge, but not wisdom. These promise information (though biased), but not the skill to discern it. If we buy-in, if we trust institutional power, wisdom cannot be regained until its voice is subverted.

So from where do we get wisdom?

“Sons and daughters, if you receive my words
    and treasure up my commandments with you,
² making your ear attentive to wisdom
    and inclining your heart to understanding;
³ yes, if you call out for insight
    and raise your voice for understanding,
⁴ if you seek it like silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasures,
⁵ then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
⁶ For the Lord gives wisdom;
    from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
⁷ he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
    he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
⁸ guarding the paths of justice
    and watching over the way of his saints.” (Provers 2: 1-8)

Is there anything you want more than wisdom? If so, wisdom will escape you and life will disintegrate. This is true software. IOur factory reset allows us to connect seemingly disparate things. The world’s software updates are loaded with malware scripts that ruin our lives. Forsake them, and seek healing with a “factory reset” with a return to wisdom. The LORD gives wisdom.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:5-8)

If the idea of God is uncomfortable, if it feels like I’m inviting you into a religion, or if this sounds like a bunch of spiritual mumbo jumbo, may I say this: This is not an appeal to any religion. the Bible frees us from these institutional powers. We are free to reject this, but if we do, we must realize everything we think is wisdom, is actually a deception where we’ve embraced the surrogate of pride. A person without true North, will not make wise decisions no matter how wise he or she imagines themselves to be. The world is full of such people who on the outside appear successful and put together, but inside are an empty shell. Do not trust appearances. God looks upon the heart and so we must learn to do likewise.

If you want a fulfilled life, start with wisdom. Stay tuned in this series as I reveal how wisdom looks in everyday our life, and the decisions we make. I promise it will be worth it.