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We’re exploring the internal framework from my book “Getting Better When You Can’t” with an examination of the human Will. This framework is captured visually below:

How many of us have tried making an permanent change to our lives only to discover that our will power faded or couldn’t stand up to temptation? We desire change because we believe it’ll be good for us. Maybe we want to recapture our youthful figure and strength, become free of financial debt, heal a broken relationship, give up sugar, drinking, smoking, cussing, porn, spending, gambling, social media, video games, etc… Then we start off strong, and within no time, we’ve failed. Like Proverb 26:11 says:

“As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool to his folly.”

Failure elicits horrible feelings of guilt, shame, self hatred, and inadequacy. Don’t give up, there is only winning and learning. Remember, my position in this series is that we don’t fail despite our best efforts, but because of them. Blues Traveler has a song that says: “I never met a failure who kept trying.”

I’m inviting all comers to consider the practice of contemplative prayer as ground zero for accessing true wisdom (skill) and insight (awareness). However we do have other options:

1. The addiction/psychological model might help but requires adopting an identity as “an addict” which then requires our supervision by a “professional” handler. “victims fly coach”
2. A life coaching model requires accepting that we aren’t trying hard enough and then requires more structure, effort and output to our busy lives. “game of addition”
3. We can give up and forfeit our true self and surrender to our appetites. This is an internal death which leads to our premature physical death. “quitter”

Most gurus in our world mistakenly focus on our will power. All the podcasts and reels are life-hacks we can try. The problem is that each is disintegrated from the other, with little depth to offer should their hack not work. These strategies may tangentially tap into a “higher power” or a “nebulous spiritual universe” aspect to inspire us, but as Paul says: “…having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.” (2 Timothy 3:5) I warn you of this because these often claim “we are all we need to change,” and then when our will power fades, they blame failure upon us…which is IMHO is an illogical and inescapable feedback loop.

There is freedom from this trap of the failing self.

I offer this transformative Truth assumption:

OUR WILL HAS ZERO POWER! Our will is merely a transducer.

A radio is surrounded by the radio waves from every possible channel on the dial. The dial tunes the receiver to a single frequency so that only one signal being broadcast is transduced from radio waves into sound waves. Likewise, our will is tuned into the broadcast signal of all our affections, and always transduces non-physical reality within the affections into a physical reality by way of action… That’s all it ever does.

That’s why last week we focused on the fact that our affections follow our attention. Consider the biblical framework from which this is derived.

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” (James 1:14-15)

We bite the hook because we have affection for it. We have affections for it because we truly believe it will give us a benefit or advantage or satisfaction. Our failures are “conceived” in our affections by what we believe is true. Once conception occurs, the will executes the most efficient means to give birth, which is to act out. If we act out enough, it brings all forms of death to our lives.

Sit with this…

Contemplation trains us to see our truth assumptions and our thinking in action. This allows us to see how our will is constantly scanning our environments for opportunities to satisfy our affections. It then activates the most optimal means to “give birth” that which is conceived in our affections and appetites.

Now for some examples to make this visible.

Find your humble inner posture. Be still. Sit silently. Now call to mind that addiction, or behavior for which you seek change. Now imagine yourself all alone at home. When it comes to this “besetting sin” is there any part of you that wants to act out when you believe no one will know. Do you access a literal or virtual “stash” that your loved ones don’t know about? No imagine yourself doing the thing that you don’t want to do anymore…eating, drinking, smoking, downloading, shopping, or in anyway partaking… Imagine acting out and begin feeling the tension of knowing this action is wrong, but you’re still doing it.

Now imagine that you hear the garage door opening unexpectedly. What do you do? If you find yourself, “hiding your stash” and returning to normal activities…Congratulations! YOU ARE NOT BROKEN. Everything is working exactly as designed. In that moment, you had no problem changing the behavior because your affection for getting caught was greater than your affection for your appetite. Your affection immediately activated your will to give birth to a change in behavior.

Your will had no power to overwrite your affections. The will has zero power.

Affections follow attention, and where we place our attention, conceptions are happening, and soon, births. We don’t fail despite your efforts, we fail because of them… because we pretend our will has power. Noticing the garage door changed our behavior…. but we’re still pregnant.

As we come back time and again to our inner silent posture of prayer. God will reveal more about ourselves about what’s going on inside and we’ll gain skill (wisdom) with our human machine. Until then, expect to fail at some level, but let’s ask God to use our failures to teach us and that those things we hate about ourselves can now transform into our teacher, and life will incrementally outgrow one failure and grow into newer more complex and subtle ones.