Listen to this post NOW on Beyond Everything Radio!

In this series I’ve shown how the forgiveness understood by the world is essentially an empty trope when conditions attached to it. I then compared this pretend forgiveness seen in world religions, psychology and cultural wisdom to the high view of forgiveness promised and provided by Christ.

Only Jesus ties the forgiving of others to our own forgiveness by God, but His nuance is unlike earthly or religious contingencies. There is no higher bar than Christ’s. Religion refuses to proclaim the Biblical truth that God’s forgiveness is given to all souls who have ever sinned.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”(Romans 3:23-24)

There is no theological framework whereby a person is justified apart from total forgiveness! Read that several times until it sinks in. “All” means all. We cannot uphold universal sin without universal justification.

This doesn’t mean that only the Christian religion can forgive, for we all know many so-called Christians who have enemies, who hate people groups, and who will not forgive others. What it means is that those who truly forgive others, are those who have paid forward their own forgiveness by God, even if unaware of it. The question is how did they do it?

Since all people are completely forgiven through Christ, there remains no appeasing God. Paul says: “For Christ is the end of the (Jewish) law for righteousness to everyone who believes.” (Romans 10:4) Christ is the end of religion. There remains no retribution upon anyone for anything, because Christ born it entirely: “It is accomplished.” Divine justice has been completely extinguished. This is the Good News, if we can believe it. It’s impossible to make God indebted to us, so His forgiveness must come first.

The nuance is this: If we suppress the truth, if we reject the invitation to the Wedding Banquet, if we have no appreciation for the sacrificial love of Christ, if we prefer our own will and standard to God’s, then God will lower His standard to the one you employ with everyone else. “For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38) Jesus did this with both thieves on the cross. His death included both, but He applied to each their own understanding of justice.

God’s Justice is not based on human merit, thus religion is impotent, but on the generosity and goodness of God. His will is to make all people whole:

“I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. ¹⁵ Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?” (Matthew 20:14-15)

What does this have to do with our practice of forgiveness? Because forgiveness is entirely based in our understanding and experience with justice. Forgiveness is the healing of our perceived injustices. Since forgiveness is an act of healing, then forgiveness as a lifestyle practice, not an event. The practice is to not trade God’s high standard of forgiveness for our own. It’s the low, human standard of forgiveness that feels justified in withholding forgiveness to those we deem unworthy, or to stipulate the conditions for a smaller version.

What about that person(s) who did evil and altered my life for the worse? What about situations where an apology or even a settlement cannot make things right?

We have all been harmed. We have all experienced injustice. Most societies require justice to be served even if the victim desires forgiveness. Some crimes require the justice by the institution of the State and that is separate from our act of forgiveness. (Ex: Erika Kirk’s forgiveness of her husbands shooter doesn’t exonerate him from the justice of the State.)

So if you are seeking the rules or pathway to forgive someone, my most earnest plea for you, prior to taking action, is that you consider this:

1. Ignore the lower forms of forgiveness and their conditions. Scrap everything you know. Abandon any sense of justice which is built upon retribution. The very first step to healing is to discover that God’s justice is based upon restoration...making all people whole…NOT in getting even. But if you disregard God’s restoration and insist upon evening the score with others, God will employ your standard upon you. Now do you want religion?
2. Ask: “What would make the other party whole?” If the situation is such that you cannot be made whole…(the loss is too great, the time to repair it is long past, etc)… then it may be beyond anyone’s ability to heal. Even if you cannot or believe it wise not to do anything at this time, taking responsibility for the brokenness of the one who harms you, prevents revenge from taking root in our soul, and moves us closer to Jesus’ ethos of restorative justice: “turn the other cheek, do not refuse the evil one…”
3. Endeavor to see yourself in your offender. Are you really that different? Are they really “other” or are they no different than you in similar circumstances? When God considers every thought and deed of yours, do you want to preserve His complete and total forgiveness, or do you prefer He employ your standard as the “other?” See the Golden Rule of love woven in all this?
4. Forgive Reality and Surrender outcomes. This is accomplished by obtaining an increasingly bigger perspective. Move out from your pain and offense. The world is myopic and disintegrated. Pulling back helps us to see that injustice is a shared human experience to which God himself submitted.
5. Begin a practice of awareness, that includes continual forgiveness, or healing injustice by asking: “What is the most loving thing I can do in this situation?”

Once you’ve done this internal work, then you are able to take the necessary actions as you are inspired to do so. This can take some time, but if your interior practice follows Christ’s ethos of restoration, then when it is right, the action will become visible, and desirable. Don’t force it. First, begin to see it and believe it, then the right action will follow, and you’ll know what to do.

If you have any doubts as to whether the Biblical standard of forgiveness is the most optimal for the world, compare a world with perfect retribution to a world with perfect restoration. Which one do you want to live in? If you picked the latter, congratulations you are already there. Now all we must do is believe it.