We have all had that feeling; the one where you are working on an endeavor and you get to the point where it appears as though it was all for nothing.
Marriages or relationships that crumble.
A business venture that doesn’t pan out.
A philanthropic act that helps no one.
Our world is full of examples. If your life is like mine, the pile of failures in the backyard is getting high enough to warrant a complaint from the HOA.
Were these a total WASTE of TIME? Do we have enough evidence yet to justify a future of NOT TRYING? At what point do our failures at least justify a future life of apathy and skepticism?
When you get to this place in life, be careful! It may very well be what Oprah calls a “defining moment.” How will you know if this is a moment when your character will be forged or merely displayed? Or both? When it comes to God, is this the moment where his existence is definatively disproven? Or the moment where his benevolence wakes us up to a new reality?
I would like to propose that this moment of dissillusionment is the portal of great vision. It helps us see what our life is really all about. What part of us died with our failure? What part of us will regroup and try something new? What part of us will throw our hands to our side and say; “Fuck it, I quit!” Whatever the outcome, it tells us what “thing” or “view of self” we have hitched our trailer to.
For what its’ worth, I have found it very helpful at times like this to consider this truth: that while we may be trying to build something, that something is in fact building us. The pain of failure is usually wrapped up in our NEED for the OUTCOME.
If we are able to appreciate what these endeavors actually do in terms of creating us, then and only then will we begin to see the true waste of time: namely, the time not spent in an endeavor. From that perspective, the pile in the back yard is more like a trophy case, than a dump heap.
Now when you dust yourself off and start again, you will prove to be a person of great faith.